FACEFUL OF DELICIOUS ALIEN GOODNESS

Today, class, we will be studying the second life stage of the Xenomorph XX121, known colloquially as the “facehugger.” Springing forth from the Ovomorph (the egg-like first form of the Xenomorph) these arachnid-like creatures are actually parasitoids, with their only purpose being to make contact with a host creature’s mouth, for the purpose of reproduction via implementation. So remember, you will be safe from a facehugger as long as it can’t get close to your mouth. Now, on to page 334…

Whoops, we probably should have paid more attention in Xenomorph Biology 101! We’re supposed to… let the facehugger near our mouths? Right? That sounds right. Which makes this mug just perfect! A facehugger, perched atop an open egg, just waiting to gain access to the next open mouth that comes along. Fill it up with your favorite tasty beverage, bring it to your lips, and everything will turn out just fine, probably. You’ll feel like a million bucks, and even burst out singing “Hello! Ma Baby” or something. We’re pretty sure that’s how this works.

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Hello Kitty House Ladies’ Wallet

Looking for a safe place to stash your cash and cards? Look no further than the adorable White family home! They’re happy to hang onto your stuff for you and make sure that it’s well looked after. And you can bet they won’t tell anyone where it is… not having any mouths, and all!

Supergirl Hoodie

Kryptonians might not get sick, but we humans unfortunately do. It’s best to take your vitamin C, wash your hands frequently, and dress in layers to combat the cold. But if you find yourself a little chilly, Kara Zor-El can fly in to save the day with this Supergirl Hoodie.

Pokémon Trainer Duffle Bag

Some people go to the gym with towels, shoes, and maybe even a change of clothes. We know those people are the amateurs, though. The ones that walk away with badges are the ones that come loaded with the essentials like Hyper Potions and Max Revives. Extra pairs of socks won’t help you get you past the gym leaders!