SLIP THESE ON, ONE BUTTCHEEK AT A TIME

These are the Tina Belcher-iest pants imaginable. Why? It’s not just because she’s on the front. It’s not even because they feature a classic Tina-ism – “BUTTS” – also printed on the front. It’s because they make every butt look amazing, just the way Tina would want it. There is a big wide world of butts out there, so slip into these comfy lounge pants and join it!

These loose-fitting pants feature an elastic waistband that also has a drawstring on the outside, because why settle for only one way to keep your pants on? Comfortable enough to wear while writing erotic friend fiction or riding imaginary horses – and they even have pockets for hiding imaginary horse treats! Just remember: your heart may poop its pants, but only you can poop these pants. Uhhhhh… not that we’re suggesting you do that. Leave the pants-pooping to your heart and just enjoy wearing these.

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Pokémon Eeveelutions T-Shirt

Hold on a second while we get our gigantic Gameboy Classic out and reflect on the original Pokémon games. Back in the “old days,” there were only three Eeveelutions, and at the time we thought that was a lot. But now there are so many adorable options, we just can’t choose. We must have them all.  

Marvel Infinity Gauntlet Heat Change Mug

There’s nothing like watching that sweet waterfall of delicious, warm coffee fill up your favorite mug in the morning. As the aroma fills up your kitchen, you gaze upon your delicious beverage and inhale. You can feel it, can’t you? The power it holds. And soon it will be yours. Imagine, if you will, the power coffee holds over your morning. Now picture what it’d be like to drink coffee from the Infinity Gauntlet – the strongest source of power in the universe meets the strongest source of power on Earth… and the power is yours to control.  

Game of Thrones House Stark Pint Glass

What a loaded comment to make, Arya. That sounds like it’s foreshadowing something. But surely the youngest Stark child couldn’t possibly be threatening some sort of revenge. No, not young Arya.