WE DON’T APPRECIATE YOUR LACK OF SARCASM

Good thing, too, because it’d be super gross to put this wallet in your mouth. Mostly because it’s covered with pink fuzzy stuff. But don’t worry. It’s 100% man-made stuff. No ground up adulterous pink cows involved here.

Celebrate the superior character from Bob’s Burgers, Louise, with this wallet that has a bunny skull applique sewn onto one pink fuzzy side. The zip-around closure on this will make it extra hard for a magician to slip your card in there, but the eight slots leave plenty of room for your ID, your parents’ credit cards, and your gun license. Congrats.

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Legend of Zelda Hylian Shield Glass

Don’t worry about keeping one of your glasses empty for fetch quests – this one is meant to be filled. While you can go with the traditional Lon Lon Milk, Chateau Romani, or potions, we’d recommend not to pour Chuchu jelly in here. Mostly because we’re not quite sure what it is.

Pokémon Team Rocket 3-Pack Earrings Set

Oh boy, now that’s an introductory speech with so many real-world applications! Debate Club? Prepare for trouble! Presentation at work? Make it double! Meddling kids keeping a super special Pikachu from you? Well, yeah, of course. Obviously.

Marvel Line Up T-Shirt

When we became super villains, we always knew that we’d one day face some of the Avengers. We couldn’t have expected this turn of events though. It’s a battle that will end one of two ways: we succumb to brain freeze, or the Avengers end up melted in a puddle.