UHHHHHHHHHHHHH

Brrr. It sure is cold in here. I wish some strong, chivalrous man would lend me his jacket… or pants.
– Tina, “The Belchies”

Or, like Tina, maybe you don’t really need a man for that. You can keep yourself warm with this Bob’s Burgers Tina Butts Knit Scarf. Nobody’s going to doubt your favorite body part when you’re wearing this. Both sides say BUTTS in a huge font. Twice for good measure. (That’s four total butts, for those playing at home.) And this scarf also features a headshot of our favorite strong, sensual woman, Tina.

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Super Mario Bros. Silver Glossary 11 oz. Mug

Take a break from your quest to rescue Princess Peach from that pesky King Koopa and enjoy a nice cuppa in this classy Super Mario Bros. Glossary Mug. Ahh… that’s more like it. Hand wash only. Not dishwasher safe. Do not microwave.

Minecraft Light-Up Enchanted Apple

Consider yourself lucky that you don’t have to craft an Enchanted Apple yourself. It used to take 648 Gold Nuggets just to make one of these, but now you just have to be fortunate enough to come across one. That’s a lot of patience for Absorption IV, Regeneration II, Resistance, and a Fire Resistance buff. But it’s worth it for the ability to take a stroll through some lava.  

Star Wars Empire Panini Press

Search your feelings, you know it to be true… you’ve always wanted your food to be on the dark side, haven’t you? We have. And now that we have this panini press, we’re never going back to the Jedi temple. We guess we’re just not strong enough to resist the deliciousness.