YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO

You knew what you signed up for when you took this job as a [database administrator / cyber security analyst / delivery boy]. After all, they implanted that career chip at orientation. So don’t act all surprised now that they don’t want your opinion. If they’d wanted your opinion, they would have taken it along with your bank routing number and DNA sample when you signed your employment paperwork. Just for safekeeping, of course.

This black tee is perfect for casual Fridays around the office. Propaganda style, with Leela, Bender, and Fry gazing skyward, it declares, “You’re not paid to think / A mindless worker is a happy worker! Shut up and do your job!” And if you’re purchasing this during work hours from a work computer? Bravo. You can only score higher if you attempt to expense it.

Buy now from THINKGEEK

Pitfall! Atari Cartridge Throw Blanket

The original Pitfall! was a blast to play, but the time limit of 20 minutes (while challenging) made us crave more! If only there was a way to blanket ourselves in that nostalgic joy for longer than 20 minutes.

Magic the Gathering Planeswalker Backpack

Wandering the magical realms can be exhausting, especially when you have to carry so many magical artifacts. We really need access to some sort of pocket dimension. That might be excessive though. Maybe something small and portable. Is there such a thing that exists? A device for holding things? Oh yeah. A bag!

X-Men Xavier Institute Crest Hat

So, you know how there are different X-Men teams? Obviously, the most powerful mutants go on the A Team, and then the next powerful group is the B Team, etc. Well, when we went to the Xavier Institute for Higher Learning, they put us on the Z Team. We were the mutants who basically went to the institute to learn. And while the other students got costumes and access to jets… we got to study. At least we got this awesome hat though.