YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO

You knew what you signed up for when you took this job as a [database administrator / cyber security analyst / delivery boy]. After all, they implanted that career chip at orientation. So don’t act all surprised now that they don’t want your opinion. If they’d wanted your opinion, they would have taken it along with your bank routing number and DNA sample when you signed your employment paperwork. Just for safekeeping, of course.

This black tee is perfect for casual Fridays around the office. Propaganda style, with Leela, Bender, and Fry gazing skyward, it declares, “You’re not paid to think / A mindless worker is a happy worker! Shut up and do your job!” And if you’re purchasing this during work hours from a work computer? Bravo. You can only score higher if you attempt to expense it.

Buy now from THINKGEEK

Super Mario Piranha Plant Poseable Lamp

Pose a Piranha Plant, perhaps? Super Mario Bros. fans will want to place this incredible Super Mario Piranha Plant Poseable Lamp on their desk or some other place of honor. The 12-inch tall lamp is powered by USB and sure is an attention grabber and conversation starter. It probably won’t try to eat you, and at least it’s not Petey Piranha!

Marvel Black Widow Cardholder

Baddies will think twice before reaching for your credit cards when they’re under the protection of Natasha Romanoff in this Marvel Black Widow Cardholder. Measuring about 4 3/4-inches wide x 3-inches tall in black-and-red faux leather with a themed red lining, it features zipper closure with a cool zipper pull, plus perforated, applique, and enamel rivet details. Don’t head out on your next assignment without it!

Spider-Man iTime Kids Watch

Plastic case with printed silicone straps!