YOU GOTTA DO WHAT YOU GOTTA DO

You knew what you signed up for when you took this job as a [database administrator / cyber security analyst / delivery boy]. After all, they implanted that career chip at orientation. So don’t act all surprised now that they don’t want your opinion. If they’d wanted your opinion, they would have taken it along with your bank routing number and DNA sample when you signed your employment paperwork. Just for safekeeping, of course.

This black tee is perfect for casual Fridays around the office. Propaganda style, with Leela, Bender, and Fry gazing skyward, it declares, “You’re not paid to think / A mindless worker is a happy worker! Shut up and do your job!” And if you’re purchasing this during work hours from a work computer? Bravo. You can only score higher if you attempt to expense it.

Buy now from THINKGEEK

Legend of Zelda Hylian Shield Glass

Don’t worry about keeping one of your glasses empty for fetch quests – this one is meant to be filled. While you can go with the traditional Lon Lon Milk, Chateau Romani, or potions, we’d recommend not to pour Chuchu jelly in here. Mostly because we’re not quite sure what it is.

Pokémon Team Rocket 3-Pack Earrings Set

Oh boy, now that’s an introductory speech with so many real-world applications! Debate Club? Prepare for trouble! Presentation at work? Make it double! Meddling kids keeping a super special Pikachu from you? Well, yeah, of course. Obviously.

Marvel Line Up T-Shirt

When we became super villains, we always knew that we’d one day face some of the Avengers. We couldn’t have expected this turn of events though. It’s a battle that will end one of two ways: we succumb to brain freeze, or the Avengers end up melted in a puddle.