Oyez! Oyez! Lords and ladies, ThinkGeek, ye olde Internet shoppe, is proud to announce the arrival of the Medieval Black Knight Hoodie. Made from cotton of the fields and an alchemical substance known only as “polyester,” this spectacular raiment transforms an ordinary subject into a knight of the realm, with all the privileges thereunto belonging (ed. note: that’d be none in America in this day and age). Protects the wearer from the dreaded Draft of Doom, the cause of many a plague upon our cities. Allows one to blend in at the Renaissance festival. Makes grocery shopping that much more of a combative experience (what? you don’t joust with your shopping carts?). Oops. We dropped our Elizabethan accent back there somewhere. Let’s start again.
Check out this cool Medieval Black Knight Hoodie. With the convenience of a full-zip hoodie, it makes its wearer look like he or she is decked out in plate armor. The spaulders and visor are removable with snaps. The “plates” are reinforced with interfacing. There are embroidered “etched” designs on the helm, spaulders, and lames. And because bathing and automated washing machines are two reasons why our nose is glad we live in the modern world, it’s machine washable. Just snap the visor and spaulders off before you toss it in. So arm yourself against the cold with the Medieval Black Knight Hoodie today.