Eat your heart out, today’s videogamers

It’s that old, familiar story: some scientists at a megacorporation unintentionally open a dimensional rift. Flash forward and an alien race has used the rift to conquer Earth. You must defend it with your crowbar. Or maybe you’d prefer being on a planet that’s really a machine built by an alien race at war with humanity (oh, and there’s this other alien race that happens to be parasitic) with a hologram in your head.

You know what? Sometimes the simplest concepts are best. At the end of a long day, you don’t always need to know what your motivation is for doing something. Sometimes you just need “Eat good things to win; Eat bad things and die.”

Buy now from THINKGEEK

Panda Hug Mug

This mug will hold your cookie! Snuggle into the arms of this cute little friend for a wonderfully relaxing brew and biscuit. Designed to look like an adorable black-and-white panda bear, the Panda Hug Mug is shaped dolomite with a convenient cookie pocket.

Super Mario Bros. Silver Glossary 11 oz. Mug

Take a break from your quest to rescue Princess Peach from that pesky King Koopa and enjoy a nice cuppa in this classy Super Mario Bros. Glossary Mug. Ahh… that’s more like it. Hand wash only. Not dishwasher safe. Do not microwave.

Minecraft Light-Up Enchanted Apple

Consider yourself lucky that you don’t have to craft an Enchanted Apple yourself. It used to take 648 Gold Nuggets just to make one of these, but now you just have to be fortunate enough to come across one. That’s a lot of patience for Absorption IV, Regeneration II, Resistance, and a Fire Resistance buff. But it’s worth it for the ability to take a stroll through some lava.