Eat your heart out, today’s videogamers

It’s that old, familiar story: some scientists at a megacorporation unintentionally open a dimensional rift. Flash forward and an alien race has used the rift to conquer Earth. You must defend it with your crowbar. Or maybe you’d prefer being on a planet that’s really a machine built by an alien race at war with humanity (oh, and there’s this other alien race that happens to be parasitic) with a hologram in your head.

You know what? Sometimes the simplest concepts are best. At the end of a long day, you don’t always need to know what your motivation is for doing something. Sometimes you just need “Eat good things to win; Eat bad things and die.”

Buy now from THINKGEEK

Super Mario Piranha Plant Poseable Lamp

Pose a Piranha Plant, perhaps? Super Mario Bros. fans will want to place this incredible Super Mario Piranha Plant Poseable Lamp on their desk or some other place of honor. The 12-inch tall lamp is powered by USB and sure is an attention grabber and conversation starter. It probably won’t try to eat you, and at least it’s not Petey Piranha!

Marvel Black Widow Cardholder

Baddies will think twice before reaching for your credit cards when they’re under the protection of Natasha Romanoff in this Marvel Black Widow Cardholder. Measuring about 4 3/4-inches wide x 3-inches tall in black-and-red faux leather with a themed red lining, it features zipper closure with a cool zipper pull, plus perforated, applique, and enamel rivet details. Don’t head out on your next assignment without it!

Spider-Man iTime Kids Watch

Plastic case with printed silicone straps!