WE’RE GONNA NEED A BIGGER BAG

This Shark Attack Backpacks promises not to eat you. It will, however, eat your stuff, ’cause it’s a backpack. It can’t help it. It’s in its nature.

This oceanic backpack comes complete with one stuffed dorsal fin and side pockets for all your pelagic storage needs. This backpack design is a ThinkGeek exclusive, so if you dig it, you’d better jump on it. Come on in – the water’s fine! Provided you don’t have any cuts. Remember: sharks can smell a drop of blood from quarter of a mile away. Much like our ability with Cheetos.

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Super Mario Piranha Plant Poseable Lamp

Pose a Piranha Plant, perhaps? Super Mario Bros. fans will want to place this incredible Super Mario Piranha Plant Poseable Lamp on their desk or some other place of honor. The 12-inch tall lamp is powered by USB and sure is an attention grabber and conversation starter. It probably won’t try to eat you, and at least it’s not Petey Piranha!

Marvel Black Widow Cardholder

Baddies will think twice before reaching for your credit cards when they’re under the protection of Natasha Romanoff in this Marvel Black Widow Cardholder. Measuring about 4 3/4-inches wide x 3-inches tall in black-and-red faux leather with a themed red lining, it features zipper closure with a cool zipper pull, plus perforated, applique, and enamel rivet details. Don’t head out on your next assignment without it!

Spider-Man iTime Kids Watch

Plastic case with printed silicone straps!