MOMMAS, DON’T LET YOUR BABIES GROW UP TO BE SMUGGLERS

So the Dark Side has cookies. So what? Can a cookie be your co-pilot? Can a cookie wield a bowcaster? Can a cookie go outside on Hoth without bundling up in 27 layers of clothing like everybody else? Well, okay. Technically, yes. But that’s besides the point. Because if you want to enjoy the cookie you have to EAT the cookie and then what do you have left? Nothing but crumbs. If you pick the Light Side, you know what you have the next day? Wookiee. And the next day. And the next. Wookiees are nothing if not loyal.

Celebrate your favorite race of co-pilot with this western-inspired button-up shirt. With diagonal jetted contrast pockets on the chest, and an oversized image of chewie on the back, you can literally claim that Chewie has your back. And your heart. Awwww.

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Kitchen Nightmares!

On a dark, haunted night, a Russian oligarch dares a circle of international chefs to play the samurai game of 100 Candles--where each storyteller spins a terrifying tale of ghosts, demons and unspeakable beings--and prays to survive the challenge.

Inspired by the Japanese Edo period game of Hyakumonogatari Kaidankai, Hungry Ghosts reimagines the classic stories of yokai, yorei, and obake, all tainted with the common thread of food.

First course: With bad consequence, a ramen chef refuses to help a beggar, and a band of pirates get more (and less) than they were bargaining for after their encounter with a drowning woman turns ghastly.

Hungry Ghosts is cooked up by the infamous author and chef, Anthony Bourdain (Kitchen Confidential, Emmy-Award winning TV star of Parts Unknown) and acclaimed novelist Joel Rose (Kill, Kill, Faster, Faster, back again from their New York Times #1 best seller, Get Jiro!). Joining them this issue are stellar artists Alberto Ponticelli and Vanesa Del Rey, with amazing color by Jose Villarrubia, and a drop-dead cover by Paul Pope

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Dungeons and Dragons Holiday Sweater

Do you think the elves in Santa’s workshop use their darkvision to be able to continue making toys throughout the night? You know, that combined with the trance thing probably makes for crazy working conditions. You think they’ve unionized? Santa should probably make sure the only bows in the workshop are the gift wrap variety because they’re all proficient with the other kind.

2019 ThinkGeek Despair Wall Calendar – Exclusive

We’ve teamed up with the geniuses at Despair, Inc. again to bring you a totally demotivating and hilarious calendar. You’ll get a different Demotivator each month (see below) as well as important dates in geek history. Impress your friends with your geeky trivia knowledge! Never forget Talk Like A Pirate Day again! Send @neilhimself a Happy Birthday tweet right on time! The superpowers you will gain from having this calendar cannot possibly fit in one paragraph. Keep it for yourself or give it to that geek in your life who has everything but still finds stuff to complain about. (They’ll love it but pretend to hate it. That’s just how they roll.) 

Harry Potter Hand-Controlled Candle

The image of all those floating candles in the Great Hall at Hogwarts is a memorable one. We like the books, too, but we’re very glad the movies exist if just to burn that breathtaking picture into our minds.